Dissin’ the Cognitive Dissonance

There is something that isn’t really discussed much in forums that deal with NPD Abuse, and I think if some of the more significant blessings of this experience were doused in our face like a bucket of cold ice water, we might be better able to pick our asses up, cut our losses and heal a lot quicker.  I presume this is the challenge with peer support, it becomes a case of the blind leading the deaf.

First of all, I can appreciate the push for equality as it relates to LGBT issues and this is not an attack on that, and I really don’t care to hear the spin on the stats – the homosexual community got a bad rap for the spreading of AIDS and we don’t know for sure the source or even if H.I.V. is the culprit.  We only know what we’ve been sold and if you do enough research you will learn most of what you accept as fact is spin.  What we do know is that AIDS does not discriminate.  What we know is that lies can be deadly, even if they’re lies of omission.

Narcissists are FAMOUS for lies of omission…

We’re sold a bag of shit today, and the message is screw whom you please without abandon, love is love, sex is sex, “Men have this primitive drive, they can’t help that if no one was looking they’d fuck a goat.”  That is the bag of shit we’re sold and this ought to really piss off the good men out there that do operate with integrity.  It comes down to choice.  The fact is we are powerless over the societal ills, and only we can protect ourselves.  People will LIE and deceive you, it’s a fact of life – accept your powerlessness over this – get over it…learn to co-exist in this shattered and disillusioned reality, but don’t let it destroy you.  More importantly, don’t be stupid and let it kill you.

The fact is, if you made it out, it was a blessing.  The hell with the dream, what you imagined life would be like, all the plans you made and built upon that styrofoam foundation you thought was concrete.  We only have the reality of now and the facts of our respective situations.  YOU MADE IT OUT ALIVE.

The truth is, given the nature of the narcissist – nothing is certain and whether the narcissist is a heterosexual a closeted gay, or ‘bisexual’ and whatever is the truth of those ‘labels’ we are so enamored with affixing to ‘preference’ or whatever is the politically correct word of the day – what we have to own is that the lies and the dishonesty can kill you.  Whatever one chooses or is born into being (Heterosexual, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) the key isn’t the label, the bottom line is HONESTY.

We could argue until Jesus descends from the heavens over what constitutes ‘high risk’ behavior.  The theory behind why AIDS was linked as statistically being ‘higher’ in homosexual men was due to the practice and nature of the manner in which they engage in intercourse…ANAL SEX.  It was theorized that if an HIV positive male were to engage in ANAL sex with another male, the tearing of the rectal tissues would create an avenue for the transmission of the virus much quicker than vaginal sex as often times there is no tearing when there is vaginal sex.  That being said, you could be having heterosexual sex and be placed at the same risk whether you engage in anal sex or any other type of sex, so it comes down to…LIES and sex with someone who does not have a neon sign on their foreheads that reads:  “I have HIV” can put you at risk. Then there are the common sense factors with what we know, the ‘label doesn’t matter’ the string of encounters do and with each notch on the belt, the risk increases…

You need to know that all we believe is true about testing is not trueThe virus can be dormant and not show up in a test for TEN YEARS…don’t believe the hype.  We’re led to believe that ‘condoms’ can protect but that is a myth – they reduce risk.  If they were 100 percent foolproof, we wouldn’t hear so many talk about how “The Condom Broke” when there is an unplanned pregnancy.  EYES WIDE OPEN!

We know Narcissists are famous for living double lives and whether they’re porking the opposite sex or the same sex we know their grandiosity leaves them believing they are invincible which is what will find them not only screwing anything with a pulse, they screw it without protection because of this illusion that they are beyond invincibility.

When we lament on all the wrongs and I have to say that I haven’t yet heard of ONE case of a narcissistic abuse relationship that DID NOT INVOLVE cheating and oftentimes SERIAL CHEATING it is important to take stock for a moment of the things that are really important here.  The fact that an individual callously played Russian Roulette with your life trumps the ‘hurt feelings and bruised ego’…and the fact that the universe spared you a death sentence ought to really change your perspective on all you are ‘mourning’.

I respect the intelligence of my audience so I won’t extend this diatrabe any longer.  What I will say is that while it’s clear some of our baggage led to our vulnerability – the bigger picture is you made it out alive.  Never mind the fairy tales, its time to get real and take stock of the situation and pick yourself up by the bootstraps.  By the grace of the creator you were saved and don’t hate the “Other Woman” pray for her.  God willing this won’t be her in ten years….

This is an old statistical map of the spread of AIDS…I have no reason to suspect the numbers have been significantly reduced…regardless of the Public Relations campaigns we’re subjected to…

Finally, AIDS in general is a very important issue that must be raised and one that is ignored as:  “It can’t happen to me”  if you please, spread this message as there are many sitting in silence who need a reality check and if they are in the midst of abuse, this might be the one message that shakes them into action.
It is my suspicion, most Narcissists are ‘ambisexual’ a term that is not often used, perhaps due to the lack of awareness of pathological relationships.  I opine when dealing with Narcissists, this behavior is not driven out of the narcissists fear of being ‘exposed’ but rather due to the compulsive need for supply at any costs regardless of risk.

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