I’m in my 40’s and I remember the old Bounty commercials with Nancy Walker. In the middle of driving for my coffee – somehow Nancy, Bounty and this Narc shit found itself rolling in my head…but in a GOOD way…I’ve had an epiphany…
I’ve been walking around thinking my name was BOUNTY! Yes! Yes! It’s true, I can no longer live in denial…what these narcs do is spill all over the damn place then look for ‘quicker picker uppers’…THAT’S it! Who knew?
When you heal you can laugh at this…but you can also be honest with yourself and see where you might have subconsciously had a hand in the mess. Until you can see where your error was – where your weak spots were and how you were made vulnerable – the odds are high one will keep making the same mistakes.
Sure, it’s easy to point fingers and make snide or humorous remarks and it does take the edge off – but that isn’t really healing. Healing is when we can know what we know and understand what it is we need to do to shore ourselves up and the answer is NOT swearing off men forever…that’s not healing that’s avoiding.
Where I believe the work takes place is when we are in tune with ourselves and learn how to make wise decisions, learn how to spot the covert forms of abuse, learn how to handle conflict and know when we’re in the presence of others who haven’t a clue and are not operating on a healthy level – and learn how to cut the chords when necessary – which isn’t the same as calling everyone you don’t see eye to eye with an abuser.
My downfall, I fell in love with potential and wanted this person’s self growth more than they did. That’s not a crime, to each their own disordered or not. This person’s solution as it has always been as reported by him, but somehow my EGO told me I was “special” is that he goes around constantly on a search for “Quicker Picker Uppers.” I don’t agree with that but it’s really not my call…to believe it is, to constantly harp on that…that’s a CONTROL issue and it’s ours…
Do narcs suck as one person posted? Oh sure they do…but isn’t that their prerogative? Are there folks in the sleepy dust that bite? Sure! Didn’t we? So what! Bottom line…we deserve more and it is important to understand, we’re worth more than a paper towel. Think back to all the messes you cleaned up, how often you spent on the see saw always waiting for the next disaster. Next time you get a lil melancholy…just think back and repeat to yourself: MY NAME IS NOT BOUNTY I AM NOT THE QUICKER PICKER UPPER!