From: Narc Raiders Website
One of the most popular questions on forums I’d say by month three if not a little sooner is: Am I a Narc? If you’re asking that question, then certainly the mere fact that you’re asking it disqualifies you from such a lowly title if only because a narcissist lacks enough insight to even engage in introspection.
If you’ve spent a little time around a narcissist they have this hidden talent or skill in making the sanest of people crazy…this is a temporary affliction one that with the right kind of supports in place over time will find you getting back to normal.
Really getting through the process of understanding what this is will undoubtedly take some time. This is more than a bruised ego, this was heart and soul mutilation…go easy on yourself.
In a relationship with a narcissist, what has happened is basically he’s mirrored you to yourself. All the good things you thought you have, you still do have, he temporarily borrowed them for his own ego and image and had you under the impression you were soulmates…this is why the loss is so devastating because it ‘feels’ as if he’s taken your soul but he hasn’t…what he’s done is mirrored your BEST parts back to you and gotten you all high on euphoric love hormones then unceremoniously pulled the carpet out from beneath you. In this process it feels as if you’ve lost yourself, but you haven’t…you’re simply disoriented. I know this sounds all very simple for the level of distress you might be experiencing, but in time you will understand this to be true.
When we study or read about narcissists, oftentimes we see some of the criteria within ourselves. This is because each of us even as healthy individuals possess narcissistic traits, they’re part of our own personalities…by nature we all have a touch. It becomes a problem when those traits are in pathological proportions to the extreme.
The rage we feel may appear to be the same kind of rage the narc displayed; however, examine source…after this kind of assault is the rage not legitimate? Of course it is, you’ve just been mauled with no recourse or opportunity to defend yourself – left with no closure, vindication or explanation – and if you did get an explanation it made no sense, it was word salad and filled with projections…
You may find yourself uttering every put down you can imagine and in your normal state would never find yourself so judgmental and ‘cruel’ hurling insults and colorful profanity that would make most truck drivers blush – again this is not something coming out of nowhere, you’ve been steamrolled and have been directed to talk to the hand – you’ve been stonewalled…of course your ego is going to fight for its rightful place for dignity and respect…even IF it’s falling on deaf ears…it will take some time to recognize you cannot reason or rationalize crazy but it takes time to own that lesson, you really are not in the early stages prepared to absorb just how pathological this individual is, you will still forget he/she’s not really human by the same standards we rate humans…
There will be at least in the early stages a myriad of emotions you will cycle through, not many if any pleasant…but please know…even in your darkest moment, even if you are having evil thoughts of revenge…(I recall once saying I could take my car, run him over then hit reverse and do it again)…you are NOT a narcissist…the mere fact that you have such concern is sufficient to demonstrate ‘conscience’ and a desire for self-awareness, something that is simply too beneath a narcissist to ever consider.