Narc Raiders Wins Award!!

Dear Members,

I am pleased to announce Narc Raiders has been nominated for a Blog Award.

It is an honor to have been recognized as an official “NARC SLAYER”

I even get a neat badge to display on my Blog…

narcslayer

Now, I am not that WordPress savvy so I hope that the Nomination Committee (that would be Ms. Kim Saeed of Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed fame) doesn’t mind that I cut and paste her announcement so that readers here can understand the process as I walk through the instructions because while I would like to think I’m good with Narc Slaying, a cognitive challenge due to a disability sometimes makes it difficult for me to follow through on very simple instructions…so please bear with me.

First, I’d like to introduce you to Ms. Saeed’s Blog.  The link to her blog can be accessed [HERE].

Next, is the link to the posting which announces the awards and the winners of the award…

THE NARCISSIST SLAYER BLOG AWARD NOMINATIONS

Within the aforementioned Ms. Saeed shares who inspired her to create the award and outlines the rules.  Her post reads as follows:

Thanks to my friend, Ursula, I was inspired to create the Narcissist Slayer blog award.

Narcissists need no introduction.  Once they’ve touched your life, you are changed forever.  They literally strip you down to your deepest insecurities and slam-dunk you into misery and self-loathing; all while they skip down a yellow brick road into the forest with Bambi.

In Ursula’s words:

“A relationship with a Narcissist always feels like a quest. You’re recruited as a hero to save them from dragons of one sort or another. They have so many dramas and stories of dramas. They are male and female damsels in permanent distress. It feels good at first to be seen as a hero on a quest to save such a damsel, it makes love mythical in proportions, you’re a dragon slayer, but at some point you’re going to become the dragon from whom they need saving. They are always the victim in distress and never see themselves as the victimizer. Once you were a hero to them and now they’ve turned you with a wave of their wand of endless illusion into the villain. You are a dragon villain who now realizes that the real dragon villain is the damsel (male or female) who has never been in distress at all, but causes an awful lot of it for others, especially those who try and save them. You can never save them.”

There are many warriors here on WordPress who dedicate their time to creating awareness of these devious soul-killers.  It is my pleasure to nominate the following bloggers for their dedication and time spent on the battlefield:

An Upturned Soul

Phoenix Rising

Psychopath Resistance

Running Away From a Narcissist

Human Rights vs. Stalkers

The Mirror     – I can create a male version of the award :)

Narc Raiders

Ladywithatruck’s Blog

Elisse Stuart

Paula’s Pontifications

Avalanche of the Soul

“Whatever you are physically…male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy–all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside.”
~ Cassandra Clare

The rules for this award are:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them.

2. Put the award’s logo on your blog.

3. Write a blog post and share the blog(s) you have chosen- there are no minimum or maximum number of blogs required.

4.  Inform your nominees on their site.

5.  Share one positive thing that you took away from your relationship with a Narcissist.

So, in following the rules, and I hope I have this right…I have thanked Ms. Saeed for the award on her blog…and I’m thanking her again here…it truly is an honor.

I am familiar with most of her original nominations (as listed above) and agree totally they are really fantastic blogs which I am sure you may appreciate.  It is so important to have access to resources, information and at minimal validation. Sometimes I find that two people can say the same thing but sometimes there is just a certain way someone expresses themselves that makes it truly click…

I expect those on the healing path will wander all over the place in search of answers and validation that they are not crazy…I did it too! I really could not have ever imagined I’d be recognized for being on the same level with so many other talented and committed “Narc Slayers” so thank you…especially to the other members of this “Narc Slaying” village who give of themselves their time, their effort and their energy to help others.

Now, since I am currently in the process of satisfying the award requirements, at this moment…4:24pm, Sunday 12/22/2013 the badge has not been placed on my blog YET (gotta figure out how to do that) but it will be done immediately after I press “POST”…

Okay…so now I’m at the “Write a blog post” part which is “In Progress”…

As mentioned before, I am familiar with most of the bloggers who have been nominated in Ms. Saeed’s post and so would not nominate them twice but wish to give a very public shout out to each and every one of them.  Equally I will visit the others she has nominated whom I have not visited yet.

My adds to this wall of fame include:

HUMAN IN RECOVERY                                                                                                                                                               *Let’s Talk About Domestic Violence* really touched me today

THE ABILITY TO LOVE – RECOVERY FROM PSYCHOPATHIC ABUSE

KIMBERLY HARDING – SOUL HEALING ART

IN THE NET – STORIES OF LIFE AND NARCISSISTIC SURVIVAL

There are many others, and I reserve the right to add to this list…(hehe).  If I happened to have missed you please do not interpret it as a slight, I am currently with the Christmas season upon us suffering a severe case of ‘da fog…

Now, I don’t just follow Narcissist recovery blogs and since many of the ones I do follow have already been named, I don’t anticipate that the following may participate in the awards process; however, I do feel they may be of help to others out there and so I’m going out on a limb and am going to nominate two blogs written by actual licensed Mental Health professionals, and perhaps our ‘visiting’ them will serve as the ‘unspoken’ honor…I make this assumption because their primary focus is not necessarily on NPD/DV healing but they cater to a broader audience…the ‘general’ healing/recovery arena…of which there is a wider spectrum of issues…

The first nominee or my “Winner” in this category goes to:

WHAT A SHRINK THINKS

and the second nominee/Winner in this category goes to:

SCOTT WILLIAMS

On that note…I think I am at the ‘Share your nomination with the nominees’…that requirement will be satisfied momentarily…

Finally…winners have been asked to share one positive thing that you took away from your relationship with a Narcissist…

Oh boyee…so many one things…

Today I have nothing negative to say about the experience. I certainly did not like going through it.  It was painful.  I was literally rendered MUTE for a month.  I could not speak, I was the poster child for lying broken on the floor rocking and sucking my thumb.  I wonder how many truly believe that because I know I may very well appear a lil mouthy and defiant but I was terribly broken and destroyed, I felt so utterly violated, used and exploited.  It was a mindfuck, it was a cluster fuck, it was psychological rape.  There is nothing normal about using someone then discarding them, not to the degree or the manner in which it was executed and my case was especially difficult if only because there were no blatant forms of emotional or physical violence, it all seemed just so ‘fucking ducky’…till it wasn’t and it felt like from day to night…POOF!…I learned that type of behavior of which I had no name for if not pathologically disordered falls under the category of not a very nice human being.

But the positive thing…there is a positive thing to all of this…

This individual was the culminating activity of all the SHIT I allowed into MY life.  Albeit perhaps not through choice, it’s bullshit to say someone had a choice when they lack awareness, and that was not my fault, you can’t know what you don’t know.  If you’ve never burned your hand on a stove, then you can’t be blamed for suffering third degree burns if you don’t know it’s hot.  That’s common sense and there is no psychobabble or theory that could even justify blaming someone who had no clue…and I’m okay with having had no clue, and I laugh at the ‘know it alls‘ who preach otherwise (they really are a comical bunch hey?)…I digress…

The destruction the EXPERIENCE created FORCED me to recognize a lot of things…(and I say experience because I refuse to give HIM credit for anything)…

I learned the TRUTH about…

A lot of lies I had been told…

A lot of bullshit I believed…

It forced me to recognize shoddy behavior and it brought a new word into my life…one I had never thought to consider…(No, not Narcissist)

Boundaries.

and things like…

Self Care…

and the value of being just a little bit selfish…

That martyrdom works in movies, not in real life…

That it’s okay to say NO…

and that I even like saying “NO!” Real loud sometimes…

Like this:

I also learned that no matter what, some people might not warm to me no matter what, and so this fear of being called a “Bitch” is actually my power move…understanding that NO, I’m NOT a bitch, but that unless I’m willing to roll over and play dead, with some people unless I do that, I could bend myself into a pretzel and they’d still call me a bitch…

SO…MISS BITCH it is!…

The experience brought me to me…I learned how to carve the best fucking line in the sand without fear, shame, trepidation and I also learned how to enforce the consequences…

I learned my ‘shit’ with control…and it really was ‘my shit‘ and perhaps part of the root cause of some of my misery…sometimes we THINK if we do XYZ we can control things, and we delude ourselves more that somehow if we can ‘control it’ we’re safe…whatever the “IT” is…

Can’t control SHYTE  except yourself…

I learned the ART of DO YOU (as in self) and that yes, there will be people who don’t have their shit together that would think this is the most selfish thing out there…

But it’s not when  you have been beaten down, depleted and sucked dry by those who damn sure ain’t ‘DOING YOU’…(Literally or figuratively).

Which is why it’s insane to say the focus needs to be on self and then run around focusing on everyone else but yourself.  Follow me?

All that to say, I learned how to “Check myself” and accept there are some really nutty nutters out there but it ain’t personal…it’s life…nutty nutters exist.

I really hope anyone who goes through this heals, recovers and finds their true power.  If you can survive this I dare say…”You’re dangerous” (and that’s a good thing)

Peace, Love, Blessings and many Thanks…

Betty Laluna

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7 thoughts on “Narc Raiders Wins Award!!

  1. Still Kicking Ass And Taking Names. Its amazing how our bullshit meter is turned way up to the max after we have been through this. Well done.

    Thank you for your posts and your direct support for those of us that are still trying to crawl out of the shit hole we are in.

    • Thank you so much Fellow Survivor for your kind words. For the record, I am in the process this moment responding to all you’ve shared, I am going through the threads so I can go in order…your patience is so very much appreciated. I apologize for the delay.
      Betty

    • Thank you Lynette! You are on that list! My hands are cramped right now, I can’t type, a lil later I’ll be back on…I am sorry for the oversight, you definitely are on the list…you can start bragging as of NOW!…hehe…give me a bit…
      Hugs…

  2. All I can say is…you effin’ rock. This is the best acceptance post I’ve ever read.

    By the way, your style reminds me of someone I’m very fond of, and I don’t know if you’ve met her, but you may want to check out her sassy, effin’ awesome blog: http://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/.

    I love this girl, and I believe you will, too.

    Oh, about the badge. right click on the image. The very last option will be “inspect image”. Click on that. It will automatically pull up a bunch of code stuff. Don’t worry, you’ll see, highlighted in blue, the HTML code you need for the badge. Right-click and save as “HTML”. Then, go to your dashboard…widgets. Go to the one labeled “text”. It will pull up a blank widget. Label it whatever you want, and paste the HTML code into it. You’ll need to figure out which numerical order you want it to display on your widget side-board. Then, save it, and voila! If it’s too big for your liking, I can give you a different set of instructions. Or, just throwing out there…you can add me as administrator, I can do it for you, and then after, you can change your password. Just sayin’.

    I know you’re gonna be big!

    • Thank you…Thank you…and Thank you! Will definitely check out an upturned soul…peace, love, blessings and the good stuff! Keeping it brief the weather is not being kind to my hands but I am so delighted to have the opportunity to connect with you…
      Hugs..
      Betty

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