We’ve all been there – hurt by someone…it could be a lover, a friend, a sibling…even a close family member. Sometimes we’re so hurt that anger is easier to live with because the pain is unbearable. We’ve been taught to feel shame about anger but actually anger is a gift the universe has given us…it is an emotion of protection, it says: “Hey, you crossed the line and I’m not gonna take it!” Nonetheless, if not tamed anger can damage us mentally, emotionally and physically.
Many struggle with periods of anger. Suppressing anger can actually result in depression. We’ve been taught to equate anger with something negative, something to be ashamed of…we are taught that it should all be rainbows and waterfalls and love and that we should all think positive and spread cheer…but what happens when you simply can’t succumb to that thinking? What do you do?
I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with some ‘issues’ and I’m very much in the process. I don’t do well with gurus I’ve found most of them are only positive about the cash flow to their accounts profiting off of re purposed gibberish. I subscribe to the notion that we and only we can arrive at our own truth. Certainly there are some very wise people with very wise things to say but it is not prudent to adapt an entire lifestyle around the musings of someone who’s had an epiphany. Gurus can be dangerous…just research Jim Jones and Kool-aid and you can see just how dangerous things can get when you dismiss your own better judgement and truth and replace it with the self-proclaimed divinity of another…
When life decides it’s time for a storm if we have any spiritual wisdom, we know that the key is finding the balance between action and surrender which is not always easy. Our human nature generally taps into our primitive drive which is ‘aggression’ and many of us find ourselves at least initially wanting to exact some form of revenge. Even if we are the most empathetic peace-loving individuals around, sometimes there are people we encounter that can do so much dirt that when it finally hits us, we’re on the warpath. I have participated in many self-help forums and I myself have spewed the age-old: “Karma is a _itch” quote attached to some visual of the perpetrator being followed by a swarm of locusts for life. I get it and I won’t preach “It’s wrong” because feeling our feelings the way we need to feel them and express them is RIGHT which is why the creator gave us feelings and free will. The challenge our creator sets forth for us is learning how to temper our feelings, accept them and deal with them; as well as, develop the wisdom to discern what is worth fighting for in the name of truth vs. learning how to surrender. That being said, I believe most of us are ill-informed when it comes to “Karma”
Karma has nothing to do with someone else’s experience, it only has to do with our own…”You reap what you sow” and that is true; however, true Karma when we are walking that path, has nothing to do with minding someone else’s Karma business…it’s about minding our own. We can’t point fingers and zap someone with bad karma sitting on our own soapbox…doing so only brings us bad karma as the same will be done to us – no one is perfect. We were not given the power to judge, it is one of those ‘free will’ things that are there as a ‘temptation’ but the choice is ours to rise to the occasion and do the right thing – which is: “Focus on self and let the universe take care of the rest.”
Many get confused with the concept of “Focus on self” and erroneously believe this is ‘selfish’ but in actuality, while we’re busy minding someone else’s business, we’re not taking care of our own backyards, we’re not doing those things we need to do for us that help us heal, grow, gain more power and strength, instead many of us get caught up in the drama looking externally for places to lay blame as if somehow this solves the problem. Instead, it is much more productive to look at self and what can be gained from the experience, even if it is overwhelmingly negative.
Healing from a major life disappointment is hard work depending upon the circumstances; however, it does not have to color one’s life. We can choose to cling to it and let it overtake us – our bodies, our minds and our spirits or we can tap into the gift that the universe has given us and elect to walk a more spiritual path and release it. I opine that at the end of the day, we are all souls. Each of us have a unique journey that is predestined. We are not in control of certain circumstances, things happen. On the human plane, we feel all kinds of emotions both positive and negative; however, when the negative emotions rise to the surface, do not deny them or be ashamed of them – FEEL them, accept them as natural and normal given the circumstances, do something constructive with them, find an empathetic ear of support, write them down, do whatever you have to do to release the negative energy in a positive manner then detach from the source of negativity (the person who has hurt you) and begin your path forward. Staying stuck only harms you. The offender more than likely if they lack remorse isn’t even thinking about you, so it makes no sense to continue to stay stuck on the loop. You can only save you. Concerning yourself with someone else’s “BAD KARMA” is a conundrum simply because Karma is an individual thing. We don’t have the power to dictate someone else’s Karma, only our own. When we deal with SELF and go inward towards that center of light, and stay open to source and strive to understand, we become ‘enlightened’ with that, comes good Karma for us.
Originally Published 4/23/12 on La Reina Buzz Blog